Blessings from my Mission: The Sacrament and Atonement

A few fast Sundays ago, right after I began my fast I suddenly became insanely thirsty. Not the kind of thirsty where water seems like a nice idea - more like the kind of thirsty I'd imagine you'd feel after walking through a desert for three days. And my fast had just begun, so I knew I was in for a very long day. For the next 20 hours or so, I just tried not to think about water too much.
I've never been so thirsty in my entire life. So you can understand why the next day when they started to pass the sacrament, I was eager for the water to come around for more than one reason.
I swear to you, nothing has ever tasted so good to me as that tiny cup of water did. It might not have been much but it was enough to quench my thirst, and it was such a huge relief. And then that relief got me thinking, that's really how we should feel about the sacrament every time we're able to partake of it. It's a huge blessing to be able to hit a reset button at the beginning of every week.

My mission taught me about the Atonement in two ways. First, I came to realize pretty quickly that there is no such thing as an exactly obedient missionary. Other people might disagree with me, but I'm convinced there isn't a single missionary out there who didn't make it home five minutes past curfew or who stayed at an investigator's longer than an hour because the investigator just kept talking (there's no way any southern missionary never faced this problem) or who didn't take advantage of every second of the day because they just needed to stop and have a good cry for twenty minutes. I just don't believe any missionary reached that level of perfection on their mission, no matter how hard they were trying. But I have a suspicion that's one of the reasons missionaries have so many standards to live by. I'm not saying I'm a perfect person at home, either, but I was a lot more aware of my imperfections on the mission, and it caused me to turn to the Lord and rely on the enabling and forgiving power of the Atonement.

One of the reasons a mission was so hard for me was because I had to watch a lot of investigators I cared about struggle through many different trials. As a missionary, I felt like it was my job to help them and make things better, and it upset me when I realized that in a lot of cases, there was nothing I could do besides teach them the gospel and invite them to lay hold on it. I knew that wouldn't make all of their problems go away. I learned to put not just my burdens on the Lord, but the burdens of investigators, recent converts, and returning members on him too, because I couldn't bear the weight of their load on my shoulders.

Essentially, I learned that the Atonement really is an all-purpose solution, and we can't overuse it. In fact, He wants us to use it as often as we can. My mission was a time when I felt extremely inadequate more often than not, but I think that's what Heavenly Father wanted, because if I hadn't been humbled to turn to the Lord, I wouldn't have been able to be led by Him as often as I was, and I wouldn't appreciate the sacrament and Atonement as much as I now do.

Blessings from My Mission: Friends for Dayz!

I think there's a reason I put this blog to rest: I am the worst at keeping it up. For those of you who keep up on it, sorry about that. I'll try to do a little better.

I don't have a lot of time to day but I did want to make a quick post. A couple of weeks ago I was reminded of a huge blessing from my mission: Sister Dailey (er...Nicole...that never stops being weird with some people) and I were reunited with some of our absolute favorite people from our missions, the Bodins. In Disneyworld, of all places! Dreams really do come true!

It was a spectacular week and it was so good to be reunited with these marvelous people again (I'm still racking my brain for a way to thank them) but that's not my only point of this point. During the trip I was also reflecting on how before my mission, I kind of thought that everyone I met in Mississippi would be a temporary part of my life. I was so wrong (and I'm learning even more how wrong I was every day). I talk to several of my companions often and I see them whenever I'm in their area. I'm even going to be rooming with one of them in January when I start back at BYU Idaho. These sisters I originally thought I'd be parting ways with at the end of our time as companions have become some of my closest friends. And I still keep in contact with a lot of the people from my areas, too. It's just really amazing to see that the Lord had specific people for me to meet in Mississippi, not only so that I could bless them but so that they could bless and enrich my life.

Blessings from My Mission: A New Perspective on the Plan of Salvation

Yesterday I learned that a very good friend of mine from the mission passed away. Elder Whitney and I happened to keep following each other to different areas, so I was lucky enough to be around him for nine months of my mission. His death has reminded me that “the tender mercies of the Lord are over all those whom he hath chosen” (1 Ne 1:20). A few weeks ago, I got the feeling that I should call Elder Whitney, although I didn’t really know why. We chatted for a while and then I mentioned that I would be in Lehi that weekend which would put me a lot closer to him than usual, so we agreed to meet up. I didn’t really know why it was suddenly so important, but now I know that the Lord, knowing all things, knew his work here was coming to a close, and He was merciful enough to let me see him one last time.

If I had not been taught the plan of salvation and been able to bear testimony of it to others on numerous occasions I think this would be a lot harder for me to cope with. I don’t have to wonder if I’ll ever see him or any of my loved ones again. I don’t have to wonder if we go somewhere else after we die, or if death is the end. Instead the thoughts that have been crossing my mind for the past two days has been, “I wonder what he's doing right now. I wonder who he's seen since getting to the spirit world." Because I know his spirit is very much alive and that he's happy and probably very busy right now. That knowledge and understanding of what’s ahead changes everything.

In the final weeks of my mission, I started to think about how in a way, a mission is sort of like a miniature lifetime. A missionary leaves everything they know to enter a world that’s completely foreign to them, just as we left the presence of our Heavenly Father when we were born to come to earth. Just like we can’t see our Heavenly Father, we don’t get to see our families while we’re serving, but we do continue to communicate with them via email, which I guess you could sort of think of as prayer. And when a missionary’s time in the field draws to a close, are people sad? Absolutely. It was always hard for me to say goodbye to a friend who had completed their time as a missionary, because I knew that for a while, we would be separated. But I knew it wouldn’t be forever, and I never wondered if they had just disappeared--I just knew they were busy doing something else. I think death can be viewed the same way. Yes, we’re sad when loved ones leave us, because they’re important to us and we don’t want to be apart. But that’s as far as our grief needs to go, because our separation is only temporary.

And when the time comes for us to depart this life, I believe it will be a lot like returning home from a mission. Yes, we will be leaving a lot of loved ones behind, but we will also be reunited with just as many loved ones who have been anxiously awaiting our arrival.

But there is a resurrection, therefore the grave hath no victory, 

and the sting of death is swallowed up in Christ.

Mosiah 16:8

Blessings from My Mission: Sisters

I have been telling myself for about six months that I needed to write another post.

It's funny how life gets in the way of those sort of things when you're back at home. All of a sudden you have a million other things to do, and it's easy to let things like journaling and blog writing and emailing missionaries slip by you. 

But this Friday, September 11th, marked two years since I went into the MTC (which is just insane to me, by the way) so I decided to do what I've been meaning to do for a long time and share a little more about my mission and my life right now. I think the main reason I've had a hard time getting around to doing it is because I keep telling myself, "No one's going to read it anyway, so why bother?" But you know, even if recording my thoughts on here only benefits me, I'd say it's well worth it. And I wanted to continue this blog, because overcoming your fears is a life long journey, not just something you face on the mission, and finding courage has become pretty important to me. 

I wanted to share with you in a few posts some blessings I have seen from serving my mission. Why? Because there's just so many. Honestly, I'm astounded at how often I continue to see blessings from my decision to serve. In fact just yesterday, I found out with the help of one of my old companions and some ward members that a family I taught in Meridian was just baptized. Even though I taught them nearly a year ago, this family has held my heart and I have often thought of them and wondered if they were still being taught. I'm ecstatic to hear that they were finally able to take that step forward in their spiritual progression! 

But today, I really wanted to talk about the blessing of sisters. That might seem a little strange, since serving a mission took me away from my sisters, but keep reading and I'll connect the dots. A few weeks ago I got to spend the weekend with my older sister, celebrating her birthday. We went to lagoon, ate ourselves sick at Tucanos, played lots of cribbage--it was basically the highlight of my summer. And I was thinking how funny that was, because honestly, when I was little she and I couldn't say one nice thing to each other. But now she's my best friend in the whole world, and like Betty and Judy Haynes from White Christmas there's not a thing that can come between us! I'm seriously so grateful that I have her, and I've grown even more grateful for it now that I'm home.

It's kind of the same way with my little siblings, too. I wasn't home a whole lot in high school and the last thing I'd be doing on a Friday night was spending time with my siblings. Now that's what I prefer to do. I can be completely crazy around them, and that's the best part. 

Because of my mission, my appreciation for the family unit has really grown. It's probably Heavenly Father's most genius idea. They're like friends you don't have to pay who are stuck with you for eternity. Ha ha! Too bad for you, family! You're never getting rid of me! 

But really, after coming home, it wasn't as easy to reconnect with all of my friends as I thought it would be. A lot changes in two years and with some people, you just don't have much in common anymore, or they're not living nearby so you don't get to see each other. So it was such a relief to be able to return to my family, where things were pretty much the same, because no matter how much time passes I will always be their daughter/sister, and that's what keeps us tied together. 

Monday, March 16, 2015: The Last Blog Post

Well, folks, this will most likely be the last post I will make on here as a full time missionary. I can't believe it's coming to an end! 

The Laurel branch has only one of your usual jumpsuits for baptism, so we had to dig through a closet of white shirts and pants they've collected for David and Nathan. During our search we discovered the biggest pants I think I've ever seen. Sister Stacey and I could literally fit inside them together. If ever I am feeling fat, I will refer to these pictures. :)

 

For the last few weeks of my mission I am seeing miracles and blessings everywhere. David and Brittany were baptized and confirmed on Friday! It was a really good service and they were so happy! I know they're both going to do amazing things in their life. I can't wait to see where they end up :)

 

That was the highlight of our week! The rest of the week was full of other adventures, one of which I will be sharing in my homecoming talk. Crazy! Even though missions seem to go by slow sometimes I can't believe it's really almost over. I don't even know how I feel! I'm so sad to leave President and Sister McDonough and all the missionaries and the investigators and the southern culture and everything! I'm freaked out about being a real person again and having to apply for school and find a job and stuff. I can't wait to watch Frozen and be with my sisters and wear pants and play my ukulele! Agh! So many emotions going on in my brain. For now I'm just going to enjoy this last week and work as hard as I possible can! For those of you reading this in Mississippi I will miss you so so much. Don't worry, this isn't goodbye forever. :) For those of you reading this in Utah, I can't wait to see you again!

Tuesday, February 17, 2015

Ok! So first, pictures and tender mercies:

Tuesday we had transfers, so we went with the elders to T-Point so we could say goodbye to a few friends who are leaving us once again. While we waited for new people to come, we went with Sister Frandsen (another sister in our district) to email and get lunch at Tophers, which turns out to be one of the best burger places in Mississippi! It was really good, and the manager apparently likes missionaries a lot so he was nice to us. He told us if he had sons, he's let us marry them :P

Wednesday was getting to play Resto Jenga with Jayden, this awesome young woman in our ward, and Hailley, one of our investigators. This game lasted longer than any game I've ever played--and believe me, I've played this more than a few times on my mission. Finally when there were absolutely no more pieces that could be safely moved Jayden carefully removed a piece that should have made the whole thing fall--but it didn't! Instead it slanted and stayed firm. Then I took out the other side and behold, it remained standing! If you look you can still see the two pieces close to the top impossibly standing on top of each other. That was just a funny thing and I was so grateful to have Jayden there to be a friend for our investigator.

Friday evening we got called by the young women asking if we could help them out with something. We came to the church to find strawberries for days all over the kitchen! Turns out they were making chocolate covered strawberries to give to the women in the branch for a fundraiser (they'd told the priesthood men about it ahead of time and they'd secretly ordered a dozen strawberries for their wives--it was pretty sneaky cause I hadn't heard a thing about it). We don't have a ton of youth in the branch--actually Jayden is technically the only active young woman right now--so they were a little shorthanded. We had tons of fun helping and they even sent us home with a few strawberries for ourselves--you know, just to make sure they weren't poisoned or anything. Don't worry, they were perfectly safe and they didn't even last the night.

Saturday we had a Johnny Lingo night at the church! Fun fact, did you know that's actually not a commonly known movie outside of Utah? I thought you were required to watch Johnny Lingo before you could be a member of this church! :P So Sister Stacey and I got a good kick out of watching everyone's reactions to this super old, super cheesy movie. Then afterwards we decorated cookies in the cultural hall. We had a ton of investigators there so I'd say it was a successful night!

And I'll just go ahead and include yesterday in this post so I don't forget next week. Sister Stacey and I decided to use some of our P-Day shopping for stuff we'd both been hoping to find for a while. Most importantly, I was on a hunt for a Mississippi necklace. So we went to a couple of southern antique shops in hopes that they would find something. In the upstairs section of one of the shops, we found this little gem among a bunch of odds and ends: a Utah plate, with the Salt Lake City temple on it (ignore the mad woman to the left who looks like she got rained on--we weren't gonna let a little storm stop us from our search!) Crazy! Oh, and I found my Mississippi necklace. It only cost 9 bucks too, which is pretty good, since most of the ones I've found have been around 30 dollars. I'm too cheap to pay that much so I was so happy about finding this one, which just so happens to be the one I like the most out of all the ones I've seen, too.

That's all for this week! Thanks for tuning in!

Tuesday, February 10, 2015

Tender mercies of this week:

Monday was just a crazy, crazy day that didn't go at all how we planned! We were supposed to have a zone P-Day in Hattiesburg but instead we had an adventurous day of driving on roads that are apparently only meant for golf carts, getting lost on Southern Mississippi campus, losing my companion on an elevator, and a whole bunch of other crazy things that ultimately led to us completely missing out on zone P-Day, the whole reason we were in Hattiesburg in the first place! Long story. But there was one thing that did go according to plan: we were able to go to Books-A-Million and I found myself another journal since I seem to be in the habit of getting very small journals and filling them up way too quickly! 

Tuesday I got a letter from my little sister with my decorated planner covers in it! I guess it doesn't matter how long I'm on my mission; mail still makes me very, very happy. 

Wednesday we were taking to Taco Bell by a member. I've only been there once so it was a bit of an adventure. Turns out they've got a quote on every hot sauce packet. I looked at this one and got really excited because this has been my personal motto for the past couple of years: Do it with passion or not at all. I believe that whatever you do in life, you should be passionate about it, otherwise there's no point doing it. And being the missionary that I am, I think that goes along perfectly with sharing the gospel. One of my companions told me about two missionaries who had gotten very rote in their tracting. They knocked on a door and gave their presentation of who they were and what they were doing. The woman who answered looked at them blankly for a moment and said, "You don't care about what you've got to offer, so why should I?" And then she shut the door. I've tried to keep that in mind as I spread the gospel with others. The Book of Mormon is the most important book they could possibly have in their hands, filled with the most important truths there are in the world, so I'd better show by my actions that it's important to me. 

Friday we had dinner with a guy in our ward and his girlfriend, who he's been trying to share the gospel with. You might say we sort of gospel jumped her last time we saw her (we thought we were supposed to be sharing the restoration with her but her boyfriend hadn't told her anything about it yet...oops) so this time was a little more relaxed to show her we're not complete weirdos! It was a fun night. We made hobo dinners and played Bananagramz, which turns out to be really fun! 

Saturday was great because we were finally, finally able to go tracting! It was awesome! We went out on this country road and it was such a beautiful day. We had some fantastic weather this week and I felt so blessed because of it because warm weather makes me so happy! We were also protected that day...we were talking to this lady on the porch and she asked where our car was. We said it was down the road and she said, "Really? You are lucky because we have a couple of dogs that will just tear you apart." Well, we were walking away and three dogs ran up to us, barking and bearing their teeth. We turned to the lady and said, "I think we found them!" So the lady told us to get on her porch and she'd get her shoes on and walk us away. So she did. And it was scary. Did I mention I've been afraid of big dogs ever since I got knocked down by a couple of strays when I was a little girl? Well...yep! That's definitely a thing! But we were protected. I'm definitely gonna have to invest in some pepper spray before I get back out there. 

And that pretty much sums up the last week of the transfer! I'm now entering into the last six weeks of my mission! Agh! Crazy! Every time I say it, it doesn't feel real. Sister Stacey and I are staying together, so I'm happy about that. So excited to enjoy our last transfer together!